Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
