god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
