ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
