Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
