i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
worst night to have a conscience
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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