i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
