I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
