you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
