The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He felt like a one man threesome
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
