found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
