Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
