Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
