I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
