I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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