Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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