She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
