I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
