Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
