he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize