where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.