i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
farters have to be the big spoon...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.