Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
As shirtless as possible
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.