Can Purell be used as lube?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.