Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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