so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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