Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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