forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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