Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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