What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
