I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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