Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
