If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
