if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
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