I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What a dumb baby whore.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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