what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
two words...techno handjob
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
