I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
