She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk is not a location!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
