Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
