toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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