Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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