all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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