FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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