it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
