I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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