I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
