I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
