I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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