I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
