Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
