apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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