I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
