So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
