I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
