So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We are two peas in an std pod
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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