your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
