I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The uberlube is also flammable
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
