it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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