I'm really into asian looking animals
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's the barista slut.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
