I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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