hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
