why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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