I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
